Sarah Garfinkel
Writer
Sarah Garfinkel is a writer, educator, and self-designated April Fools prank champion. She studied with the Second City Satire Program. Her work has appeared on McSweeney's Internet Tendency, The Belladonna Comedy, Weekly Humorist, Points in Case, Slackjaw, Little Old Lady Comedy, Robot Butt, and The Forward.
RECENT WORK
"Trophy Husband: Some say he’s a bit of a bimbo, a bit of a gold-digger, and a bit of a flirt. He spends all of his wife’s paycheck shopping for cufflinks that won’t clash with the caviar. He is high-maintenance, but he’s worth it."
"I’m officially putting myself up for Instadoption. Just brush by Jeff on his daily trek to 7-11 and I’ll slide over to you like a hot DM."
"People always tell me I have a beautiful smile when I ask, “What else is beautiful on my face besides my eyes, nose, and chin?”
"Make him an energy-boosting quinoa and oatmeal cake with sample questions from the LSAT written in marzipan—he’ll need the energy staying up all night studying (and working on his phonics)."
"The cause of death was the fatal combination of a visit from Aunt Flo, who always encourages your chocolate craving, and your ability to indulge without fear of judgment, guaranteed by your roommate’s last-minute trip out of town."
"Hamilton Lottery Daily Entry Compulsion"
"A commotion on the street prompts you to walk outside. See Child 5 and Child 6 (you’ve numbered the neighbors for efficiency) and Mothers 2 and 3 setting up a lemonade stand."
"Pretty please, with a kosher (or not) maraschino cherry on top, grant me forgiveness…
...For the sin I have committed against You by overdoing the Jew-ish joke around Christian friends."
Articles
“The farm is a cool place for open-minded individuals to come and partake in something that is bigger than themselves."
“You know how a guy with a hammer thinks everything is a nail? Well, to a person with a spatula in their hand, everything looks like it needs flipping. So, resist.”
Essays
"Silverman’s brilliance lies in her ability to comedically entertain her fans while simultaneously providing evidence for her argument. She knows that conservative outlets are watching, even if only to criticize, so she seizes the opportunity to educate. Better yet, she educates with humor."
"We were ten years old, and we were brilliant. I picked up the whiteboard marker. We gleefully assigned our classmates piles of homework."
CONTACT
Tell me something funny.
Sarah Garfinkel © 2018